To Die For

Here’s something strange: there used to be two of me, now there’s only one. One of us died, kind of. As it turns out, the one that died was never really real to start with. It was an imitation me, like a ‘movie me’. It sure seemed real, though.

I gotta say, life is a lot easier not having to drag that extra me around. Things have gotten much simpler. Here’s the thing- the ‘me’ that died? That was the one with all the problems. That was the one, for instance, that constantly wanted approval, got hurt and defensive, felt sorry for itself, and wanted to be right all the time. It was a lot of maintenance, pretty much 24-7. Sound familiar? The me that is left is way less trouble. In fact, the me that is left is pretty much empty space. Things happen as before, but nothing sticks around because there’s nothing to hold onto, as in the old Zen saying, ‘Snowflakes falling on a hot stove.’

So, yes, the new me is trouble-free, even when there are troubles. Maybe not 100% all the time, but there has been a shift in the ‘me’ department. The odd thing is, nothing has changed; I still get mad, upset, or judgmental, same as before, but since there’s nothing to this new me, which I am now calling the ‘real me,’ everything is in one door out the other. You never realize how much energy goes into maintaining the imagined self until you discover there’s nothing to maintain.

There’s lots more, too, like the fact that there is nothing outside of me. Yes, it’s true. I contain everything! It’s true for you, too. We are all, in truth, vast, unlimited vessels far beyond the limits of our imagined selves. We are limitless, with no frontiers, and completely free because we are essentially empty space. The joke is, for most of this life, I’ve been looking for something that I had never lost. And what did I find? Nothing! Ha!

PS: I would like to point out that this writing is not about personal experience. What I am describing is not personal, nor is it an experience. Anyone's discovery of this reality and the light it allows into the world has profound universal ramifications for all and everything. True, unshakable peace, happiness, creativity, and love are ours when the ‘little me’ dies, and we wake up to the ‘big me’ that has always been hiding in plain sight.