The Neighbor
The next-door neighbor with his incredibly loud,
gas-powered leaf blower is at it again.
And it’s only 8 am.
Normally, you’d be annoyed
at the noise and at him...
How can he be so selfish?
What a jerk, etc.
But, somehow, for some unknown reason,
this morning, that reaction is absent.
No reaction,
no me, no him,
not even an annoyance at the loudness of the engine.
No me.
Or rather, not the expected me.
This other, not-knowing me, is empty
and allows everything to be,
even aggravation.
Frictionless.
Have to say, it’s pretty nice,
this new, no-me.
Weightless, empty, free.
With nothing left over.
Nothing but wonder.
Haha..good question, Michael. And thanks for asking. OK, yes, I have to admit, it is a 'wondeful place'. And, yes, it has become, over the course of 5 decades of inquiry, more accessible than ever. Mostly, it is available when invited. But, recently, I have notice this ease of being is spontaneously available, and, I can't help it, I love it. It is love, period, no 'I' required.
If you go back in my posts, there is one titled, 'Finding Nobody', which describes an awakening that happened over 30 years ago, while on a retreat at Springwater Center, where I attended retreat and worked with Toni Packer for many years. What happened in the moonlit field that night was a collapse of the whole, elaborate structure of a personal 'me', and a knowing myself as awareness.
That collapse was an opening that has never closed up again. Like I said, it has, over the years, dilated and contracted, but, the beauty is that, once it opens, it never can close again. Once you know yourself as awareness rather than a personal self, there's no going back.
There is an old Zen saying, 'The first step is the last step.' Meaning that it all boils down to attention. It taks patience and persistance, but to take some time every day to sit quietly and make the shift from our habitual involvement with thought to attending to what is happening, moment to moment, inwardy & outwardly, is a radical human act. It may feel like all you do is think, but, remeber, you wouldn't be able to notice that if there were not something preceding thought. Stay with it. It is love in action.
But, how did you get to such a wonderful place? Can you access it anytime, anywhere?