The Hawk

The morning after the election, my wife said she felt like she had a broken heart. That felt about right for me too. It’s been a while since I have grieved, and as the results and ramifications of the election sank in, that heavy, dark feeling in body and mind became familiar and undeniable. 

Augmenting the sadness and disappointment is the realization that many others, friends, neighbors, and family members, millions of people worldwide, are feeling the same way…not just the feeling of deep loss but trepidation for the future—the future of the world, our children and grandchildren—at the hands of a malignant charlatan and his minions. 

 After breakfast, you go down to the garden to fix a broken garden box. It is a beautiful morning, but inside, you are a stew of pissed-off, sad, and worried, all in the same pot.You get to work, though, (not a fun job…down on your knees on gravel), but thoughts and feelings about the state of the world are overwhelming, and at one point, you give up, roll over on your back, relax, and face up to the sky. High above you is a hawk making slow circles in the limitless blue, and you lay there for a while, breathing, heart beating, and watching in silence as the hawk, in its own time, goes out of sight beyond the giant Eucalyptus trees. The leaves on the trees are shimmering, and in the distance, someone is using a chainsaw; your knees ache, and a crow is cawing nearby and as you lay still and observe the world, suddenly, all of the aggravation and concern, all of the contractions fly out of your body and mind…there is an actual physical sensation of release, like a dark spirit leaving your heart and flying up into the boundless sky. What was, a minute ago, nothing but aggravation, sadness, and trouble is now empty and completely free. At that moment, it is clear that you are not separate from the hawk, the sky, the Eucalyptus, the shimmering leaves, the chainsaw or the crow. You are the world, and the world is you, and you are at peace.

-Ojai, CA. 11/7/24