Great To Be Alive
‘The news we hear from afar
is full of grief for that future.
But the real news, inside here,
is there’s no news at all.’
-Rumi (13th century)
OK, here’s a question for you. When was the last time you woke up, and the first thing you noticed as you came into consciousness was something different than the usual fog of concern? For no particular reason, there was a feeling of something that could only be called happiness. You hadn’t won the lottery, had great sex, or won a tennis match against a young rival, but there it is while buttoning your shirt and tying your shoes, making coffee, and washing the dishes; ordinary everyday things all permeated with the feeling that it is good to be alive. It is more than good…it feels great to be alive!
There is buoyancy and lightness in everything. You read the news, which is almost universally sad and bad, but it can’t touch your happiness. Yes, it is upsetting on many levels, but underneath and beyond the upset is something bigger that the world can’t touch. The world can’t touch it because happiness is not caused by what is in the world. True happiness has no cause, period. It’s just what we are, no matter what, underneath and beyond our habitual identification with an imagined personal self.
Dearest Jan,
So odd, isn't it? To think of our long common history on Monhegan and the thread of our lives and here we are, 3000 miles apart talking like we are in the same room. What a world.
Ha, 'arrived'...Old Zen saying, 'The first step is the last and the last is the first.' Awakening is a lifetime undertaking. However, once we realize directly, like picking up a hot pan, the difference between our identification with thought and simple awareness, there is no going back. Yes, there is, for most, an oscillation between presence and illusion (of a separate self) but with devotion, meditative inquiry can change from a discipline to an act of love.
What's that like? In short, from my experience, it means that all the stuff in the world that we all have to deal with, good, bad and gnarly, becomes more and more transparent. Somebody says something critical , for instance, that elicits a defensive response that might ordinarily cook in you for hours, days weeks...in the field of presence, the defensive response has nothing to hold onto. The notion of oneself as a body/mind has lost its footing as your sense of self, so the toxic response can come and go, like clouds in the sky.
And no, (unless you are one in a million who wake up irreversibly)that doesn't happen every time 100% but the mystery is, once it happens, even a little, it will happen again and again. In some ways, at some point you realize you never had a choice in the matter.
Forgive my rambling. Thank you for the comment and please never hesitate...nothing I love more than looking at life together.
D is calling for a movie.
All love,
M
Oh Mike, you have arrived, even if these experiences are passing, or holding. The taste is in your mouth. You know it. But it must come and go for you to have a physical life. Groceries, bills to pay, grans to visit, etc. what's that like?